Sarah The Doula
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witches always know
A few months ago both a close friend and a client of mine were due just a few weeks apart. I said to my partner over dinner one Tuesday evening, ‘I’m getting a call tonight.’
‘From which one?’ He said.
‘I don’t know, I’m not psychic!’
And sure enough by 7:30am the next morning I was making a cup of tea for a fresh mum after supporting her at a beautiful home birth.
It’s a funny feeling, this instinctive ‘knowing’…..I’ve had it all my life actually, and I’ve grown to learn to trust and listen to my body. I’ve *known* I was going to get a job an hour before I even went to an interview, I’ve *known* that a parking ticket has just been put on the windscreen of my car, I *knew* that I needed to take a huge plunge, hand my notice in at work and book on to my doula course. When you’re a birth worker and your client is about to go into labour, you know you are going to get the call. I can’t explain why, we just know, and that feeling is something else.
This blog was actually inspired by a lovely thread that was started today by Maddie McMahon, the author of ‘Why Doula’s Matter’. I loved reading the different ways in which different doulas *know*. One doula explained how she always gets a cold a few days before, followed by a restless night, another mentioned having stomach cramps, almost like period pains. Having a big poo was one description, whilst another wrote of how one time she dyed her hair because she *knew* she’d have time even though her client was in early labour (and we are talking henna that takes 3+ hours). I know because I feel tingly in my gut and I’m short of breath. I prepare the house, get the food in and get the washing out the way. I *know* I’m going to be out the house for a while and I need to make sure my family can survive without me. It all seems very coincidental doesn’t it? That all these comments put together are in fact signs of early labour?
Why this happens I don’t know, perhaps it’s an individual thing for each doula or midwife. I can’t speak for everyone but I can speak for myself, doula-ing is who I am. I always feel a bit cheeky when I speak from the heart about being a doula, like I’m cheating, because as a job role I’m still very new. I’m a fresh doula. But actually it’s a part of me that has always been there before I knew what a doula was. A while ago my mum was talking to me about our family tree. On my dad’s side one of my relatives was a midwife, the only one in her community. She had her family name ‘Caldwell’ written above her door and would be woken to frantic knocking from panicking father’s when their wives were at home labouring, the old fashion version of ‘The Call’. On my mother’s side my great grandmother had 20 pregnancies and 11 children, the oxytocin has trickled down both sides of my family for years and I truly feel it in my blood, my skin and deep inside my bones. Maddie’s husband jokes about how once upon a time she would have been burned at the stake. I totally get it. Doulas are wise witches, full of secrets and natural remedies. We keep crystals, ointments and oils in our bags, we know how to turn babies with rebozos and speed up placenta deliveries with pressure points. We drink tea and cackle together and we’ve been known to dance naked under a full moon. So it’s no doubt that when a client of ours sends us a text to tell us ‘things are moving’ or their partner rings suddenly at 3:30am we aren’t surprised, we calmly respond and off we go to do our thing, because on some level, we already knew.
Writing this I’m in complete awe of my doula sisters, we really are an enchanting bunch and I honestly feel connected to each and every one of them. Instinctively.
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